just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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