My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
