People with herpes should wear stickers.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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