Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize