I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I came so hard my ears popped.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
