God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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