you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize