She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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