i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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