After last night, I could never be a politician.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
