I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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