My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm at about main and main street
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
