I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
