Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
