My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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