i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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