I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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