i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
not ubering you a puppy
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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