do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
