North Korea, Best Korea!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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