Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
