is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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