My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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