Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
