I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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