YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
