its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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