After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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