what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
