what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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