he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
