Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
