so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
