I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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