I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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