Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
