it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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