I heard we made out
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
