Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
