She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
