You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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