Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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