I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
