nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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