Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
