i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it because I queefed?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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