Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
