The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
