Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
