I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
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