I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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