dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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