it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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