im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Enjoy the penises
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
