You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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