i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
