It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
